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"People will like me or not, but being liked is not my One Thing; integrity is... I'm willing to lose anything that requires me to hide any part of myself." - Glennon Doyle The other day, I came across a new book called The Courage to be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. I haven't read the book yet but the title got me thinking... Do I have the courage to be disliked? In my twenties, the answer was 'No.' I so badly wanted to be loved, wanted and chosen that I did everything in my power to be whatever other people wanted me to be... and felt shame when I couldn't morph myself into twenty-five different versions... And then I hit 29, my personal life imploded, and my thirties was a decade of learning self-acceptance. But, even in my thirties, I still lived the residue of people-pleasing tendencies. It's only in my 40s that I've come into a very grounded and sometimes painful place of having the courage to be disliked... and the part I want to talk about is not the bold, brave side of courage; it's the dark side of standing alone in courage that I want to get to. I'd love to tell you that moving through the world with the courage to be disliked is this brave, bad ass journey of being my truest Self and feeling amazing while doing so. There are moments of that, yes... But, there are also moments when my courage to be disliked leads to the ending of relationships, the aloneness that comes with braving the wilderness by myself and the courage it takes to allow others to villainize me when I refuse to have my boundaries violated. People talk about the glory of being one's FULL Self by having the courage to be disliked... and there's power in knowing that you trust yourself to be exactly who you are... But, there's also the collateral damage that comes when you tell people that you won't cower or play small, when you end relationships that simply don't align and when you choose, no matter how much peer pressure shows up, to walk your own way. Yes, it's important to be okay enough with ourselves so that we have the courage to be disliked... and it's also important to be okay with the solitude that comes when we choose to do so, especially when it costs us the affiliation of others. There's a Yin and Yang to everything. Being aware of and being able to embrace the journey through both is key to showing up fully for life.

"Self-esteem is what we think and feel and believe about ourselves. Self-worth is recognizing 'I am greater than all of those things.' It is a deep knowing that I am of value, that I am loveable, necessary to this life, and of incomprehensible worth." - Dr. Christina Hibbert Self-worth is traditionally defined as "a sense of one's own value." But, it's an ironic definition because, if you think about, how can anyone else but you define what YOUR self-worth is? They can't... So the question shouldn't be "What is self-worth?" but "How do I define what self-worth is for me?" Hence the need to create your own self-worth recipe. A lot of people fall into the trap of defining their self-worth using shallow metrics, metrics such as: your job your title how good of a family you come from or have created the money in your bank account your net worth all the assets you've accumulated the car you drive how other people view you how beautiful or fit you are how intelligent you come across The problem with all of the above is this: they could vanish at any moment... and you have very little control over whether, when or how they do leave you. At its core, self-worth begins and ends with you. It is an internal measurement based on an inner compass that has nothing to do with anyone else... which requires some customization to define because it is unique to YOU... So... how do you create your self-worth recipe? Here's a three step process you can use to create your self-worth recipe: Step 1: Create your own definition of self-worth. In other words, what does a solid level of self-worth look like on you? In your life? In this season of your life? Keep in mind that you'll need to revisit this definition on a yearly basis because it will change. Step 2: Outline the ingredients that are required to embody your definition of self-worth. If your definition was a recipe, what ingredients would be required to create it? Write those out in a journal. Step 3: Decide how you're going to bring together those ingredients on a daily basis. For example, if in my self-worth recipe, one of the ingredients is 'nourishing my body with healthy foods' (i.e. I believe my self-worth is connected to how I feed my body), then things like meal prepping and eating in a certain way most of the time would be how I'd take action on that one ingredient. I'd then need to tactically decide things like 1) When I meal prep each week?, 2) What foods I will and won't eat, and 3) Scheduling time to both prep and sit down to eat each day. Yes, you need your definition and your recipe and, yes, at some point, you have to put your recipe into action by the systems, habits and consistent DMA (Daily Massive Actions) you take on the recipe. There you have it- how to create your self-worth recipe. It is simple... and it is not easy... but it can become how you live your life... IF... you make it matter enough to do so. Comment on this post and share your definition of what self-worth is for you...

"The thing about meditation is: You become more and more you." - David Lynch Have you ever noticed how much people are committed to seeing you in one particular way? Especially the people who've known you for decades. Whether it's your parents who still view you as "my little girl" or a spouse who still thinks you want all the same things you wanted out of a relationship the day you got married in your early twenties, there's this deep human longing for consistency and stability... so much so that most people want to put other people in a box and view the other person's identity as locked in stone... only it isn't. So what do you do when, over time, you've become a person who's made poor choices, gone in the wrong directions or simply allowed yourself to engage in people pleasing, boundary bending, and, for all intensive purposes, living your life as a human doormat with no wants or needs of your own? What happens when the people closest to you have spent decades knowing you to be indecisive, unreliable, financially irresponsible, or lazy? Do you simply go along with the narrative and allow their judgments to convince you of your lack of worthiness? Or... do you, for the first time in a very long time, decide that no one else gets select an identity for you and that, at any moment, you have the right (and the responsibility) to change your mind about who you want to be and how you want to show up in the world? Do you not have the right, at any moment, to become a totally different, far more powerful version of yourself... without ever needing to consult or ask permission from anybody else? Of course you do! And here's the thing I want you to understand: No one else has to agree to your shift in identity. Other people have every right to see you as an old version of yourself... even if that old version has been long gone for decades. Other people also have the right to believe what they want about whether the 'new' you will be enduring or long lasting. It is not your business to change other people's minds about who you are now choosing to be. But, here's what other people DON'T have the right to do- They don't have the right to, by their mere opinions, convince you that you don't have what it takes to be the greatest version of your possible. They have no power to do that... unless you give it to them. So how do you stop being a version of you YOU don't want to be? Here are 3 things you can do to begin the process of shifting into a better, stronger and more powerful version of you: 1. Get over needing other people to see you differently. Some people, no matter how much you change, will never see you any differently. Accept that now and release any expectation you have about other people seeing you differently. When someone is committed to misunderstanding you, they are invested in a version of you that will always be less than. It does not serve them to see you in a better light and, because of that, they won't. Forget about convincing other people that you have changed. Change and then get a new tribe. Your old tribe may have no interest in wanting the new you in the group. 2. Focus on BEING the new version of you... starting right now. Far too often, we think that we need all of these things... before... we can be a brand new version of ourselves. Not true! You need a new moment, a new minute, new hour and a new day. You don't need to wait until Monday and you certainly don't need to postpone an identity shift until the new year. In this very moment, you can say to yourself "I am a NEW me right now... and, from this moment forward, I'm operating as that version of me with every word I say, every thought I think, every decision I make and with every action I take." Say that affirmation throughout the day. Scribble on a notepad. Keep it as a screensaver. Most importantly, live it from this moment forward. 3. Use every single decision you make as an opportunity to embody and solidify your new identity. Becoming AND being the best version of you doesn't stop the moment you decide to be that. It begins with the decision and is only sustained by your DMA (Daily Massive Actions). Far too often, we allow the opinions of other people to keep us stuck in an identity that doesn't serve us. The shame and guilt we feel because of past mistakes or continuing bad habits becomes the incentive for us to continue showing up as a lesser version of ourselves. We feel crappy for being who we were which then leads us to feel like we don't deserve to be who we want to be which then creates this vicious cycle of continuing to show up as that lesser version because we use past mistakes as a way to stay stuck in a place we don't want to be. You can break the vicious cycle by saying to yourself "No! This is a new moment. This is a new day. I get to show up differently today. I get to do my life differently from this moment on. I can be who I want to be and I am now choosing to show up that way." Know that, in every decision you make today, from what time you set your alarm clock for to what you eat or don't eat, to how you move your body to the phone calls you make and emails you send, you are casting a vote for the version of you you now want to be. Make sure that you check in throughout each day and ask yourself "Is what I'm doing right now reflective of who I really want to be starting now?" Be conscious about who you're choosing to be in this moment and, if you don't like it, choose differently. FINAL POINT: Don't let a past version of you make you think that who you were is the only you you'll ever be. Not true and not necessary. Decide today who you're going to be... and then be YOU...

"The thing about meditation is: You become more and more you." - David Lynch I am not a meditation person. In fact, I'm not a sit still and do nothing kind of person. Ask me to go to an in-person yoga class and the answer will be an emphatic No. I, like so many, have trouble sitting still. While I like quiet, I find doing the act of practicing stillness hard to take... which means I need meditation way more than the person who can do it with ease. So I'm now in the process of building a case with myself on getting into a solid meditation practice... and the first place I'm going is to research. For me, if I can see data that shows me the benefits that are possible, I'm more likely to make something that, in my mind, is unpleasant, a habit that MUST be done. Tony Robbins talks about it- moving things from a 'should' to a MUST is how goals get accomplished. Here are a few of the stats I'm using to convince myself to build a vigilantly consistent meditation practice: In one study, 8 weeks of mindfulness meditation reduced the inflammation response caused by stress. Meditation slows brain aging (particularly thinning of the prefrontal cortex) Meditation lengthens attention span Meditation lowers risk of cardiovascular disease At the end of the day, meditation is good for everyone on all levels. But the question becomes: How do you get yourself to do it consistently? And here's the strategy I'm going to employ (pulling from James Clear's Atomic Habits): I'm going to habit stack. At least once a day (I'm not even going to try to schedule meditation at the same time every day- that's too much of a commitment for me at this moment), I'm going to link something I want to do with the thing I don't want to do (meditate) in a "In order to do that, I need to meditate first"). That way, I have to both schedule the 10 minutes (I'm starting with 10 minutes of meditation daily) and place it right before the activity I'm accustomed to and want to do... and then do that for six straight weeks. After that, I can add more meditation time or change up the meditation approach but, first things first, I've got to get myself to do it... I'd love to hear from you... What's your take on meditation? How have you created a daily habit of meditation in your life? What are you doing to create a meditation habit?

"Sometimes standing up for yourself can be as simple as walking away from a situation that does not support or honor your self-worth." - Unknown When was the last time you sat in ten minutes of silence and asked yourself "Where do I want to take my life next?"... and listened for your soul's answer? When was the last time you felt the discomfort of being in the presence of toxicity or misaligned energy and said to yourself "I'm no longer going to expose myself to this or be involved with this person"? When was the last time you FULLY trusted your intuition and did what it told you to do... without second guessing yourself? In every moment of your existence, your life is speaking to you. It's telling you what to do, when to do it, who to trust, who not to trust, and what to hold on to (and what to release from) in your life... and that level of deep intelligence is only available to you FROM you... But, far too often, we discount the vibes we get, the energy we feel, and the messages from the Universe that come through loud and clear. We tell ourselves things like "I can handle this" or "I only have to put up with this for a little while longer" or, the worst one, "It's not that bad"... all the while every fiber of our being is screaming "You don't have to put up with that! Stop it!" And here's the truth: The quality of your life will depend upon the level to which you are committed to being true to you... and the longer you spend putting up with, settling for, or allowing in situations, things and people that are unworthy of you, the farther you'll be from the life you KNOW you deserve. And you might be thinking "I can't stand up for myself right now so what do you want me to do?" First things first, I'd like you to make the decision that standing up for yourself is NON-NEGOTIABLE, that you will walk through life, from now on, standing up for yourself, that backing down and playing small is no longer an option. The second thing I'd like you to consider is this: You teach people how to treat you- by what you allow, what you accept, and what you continue to stay available for. If you don't like what's going on, make a decision that you're going to change it, that you MUST change it... even if nothing can change right now. The third and final thing I would say is this: Standing up for yourself doesn't have to be some big proclamation, massive argument, or equate to cutting people out of your life. Far too often, the most powerful forms of standing your ground is quiet, decisive, and subtle. You do not have to make holding to your highest standards a drama fest. It can be as simple as saying "No" or walking away or saying nothing at all. The bottom line of all it is this: Your life, at every turn, is showing you what is for you, what is NOT for you, and what to do about both. Do not ignore the signs that come or the vibes that register. Trust yourself enough to trust the messages you receive... and when it's times to leave anything, do the courageous thing and, without arguing, battling, or complaining, simply leave (mentally, physically, spiritually... or all three).

"I see a certain life for myself and I won't stop until I get it." - Unknown You have the goal of building a business. You may even be in the middle of building that business. But, every time you take a step, there's something inside of you saying "Do you really think you can do this?" Call it your inner critic, your self doubt, or something in between. This is the voice inside of you that keeps you taking lukewarm action (one foot into building a business and one foot on the fence not wanting to go all the way). What can you do to overcome the self-doubt and finally go ALL IN on your business? 5 Ways to Overcome Self Doubt The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. - Unknown In my book Own Your Goals: The Ultimate Guide to Setting, Sticking To and Achieving Your Biggest Life Goals, I talk about the importance of self-belief: "The first and most important step to goal achievement is your level of self-belief. Every thought you think, feeling you have, and action you take will be based on the extent to which you believe the outcome of those thoughts, feelings, and actions are leading to your goal being achieved." It's not simply that self-belief matters. It's also that constant and unceasing bouts of self-doubt hurt your level of self-belief and will keep you at a lower level of effort and productivity on your business dream. In this way, it's important to do what you can to overcome self-doubt so you feel free (and confident enough) to go ALL IN on your business. Here are 10 ways to overcome your self-doubt: 1. Doubt your self-doubt Whenever self-doubt creeps in, counter whatever self-doubt is telling by saying "Why not me?" In other words, if other people are out in the world building successful businesses, if other people with fewer resources, fewer talents and even more time commitments than you currently have are building successful businesses, why not you? The counter with that one question goes a long way in at least quieting the self-doubt conversation. 2. Take consistent, daily massive action (DMA) Doubting yourself is normal; letting it stop you is a choice. - Unknown Nothing decreases self-doubt like putting all of your focus and energy into taking consistent, daily massive action. Whether you're in the mood or not, whether you feel it or not, force yourself to take DMA (Daily Massive Action). The more consistent you are, the more confident you'll feel about your ability to successfully build a business. 3. Accept that self-doubt isn't going away One of the most powerful ways to diminish the power of self-doubt comes by radically accepting self-doubt's place in your life. Here's the thing- no matter what goal or dream you're going for, self-doubt is going to be there. Especially when the dream is building a business, self-doubt is par for the course. No matter how much business success you have, every new level of success will require you breaking out of comfort zones, going for bigger things, and failing forward as you do both. In this way, your entire business building journey will involve self-doubt on one level or another. The point isn't to erase self-doubt; the goal is to contain it so it has its place but lacks any major form of influence. Tell yourself "Self-doubt is here to stay and I have to find a way to take action and succeed, even in the moments when I'm filled with self-doubt." 4. Get clear on what not going ALL IN on your business will cost you IF you let self-doubt win Pain is a much more powerful motivator than pleasure. Because of this, it's important to leverage pain to get yourself to take consistent action. In moments when self-doubt feels overwhelming, think about what giving in to self-doubt will cost you in 6 months, 1 year, 2 years and 5 years. Are you willing to lose out on the benefits a successful business can bring to your life and the lives of those you love over doubts that, even now, you know logically are not true? Once you feel the pain and loss of what giving in to self-doubt will cost you, you begin to see that going ALL IN, while seemingly painful, is not anywhere near as painful as not living up to your potential. 5. Remind yourself who you are A powerful way to combat self-doubt comes in reminding yourself of past experiences where you doubted yourself and overcame. Recall prior challenging times in your life when the obstacles felt massive, the odds of you succeeding felt small and you found a way to succeed despite all of it. The same person (you) who managed to triumph then is the same person has the power to do the same with building a business now. Recall three to five prior life experiences where you overcame self-doubt and succeeded... and then remind yourself that if you could do that then, you can do even more now... At the end of the day, you can choose to live in fear or you can choose to live in faith... but you cannot reside in both at the same time. Yes, self-doubt will be in the car of your life... and there's nothing wrong with that. Just be sure that self-doubt is NOT in the driver's seat...

There's an upbeat, hopeful energy to the start of any new year. The idea of beginning again, setting new goals, and doing a new year differently are all things that get people pumped to set goals for the year... and all of that 'motivation' lasts for about six weeks. Typically, February comes around and, by March 15th, all of the hopes and dreams of a new year fall to the wayside and 'regular life' resumes its position of power. So what do you do when you know that 2023 is meant to be different from you, that it NEEDS to be different? How do you keep your 2023 goals front and center in your life... even if what you've always done does its best to be what you continue to do? Here's a goal management strategy I'm writing about in my upcoming book, Own Your Goals: Know what your goals demand. Know what your goals demand... and then commit to doing what your goals demand. It's so easy to commit to the idea of achieving a goal or living a dream but, when you put pen to paper and define all of the time, energy, focus and money it's going to take from you to achieve that goal, are you ALL IN or are you halfway out? And therein lies the problem... If you want to achieve your 2023 goals, go beyond deciding what your goals are. Pull out a notebook and a pen and write down everything EACH of your goals are going to require. Then go to your calendar and put the time blocks on your calendar that reflect the amount of time you will devote each week to EACH goal. Then follow through EVERY SINGLE WEEK. That's the solution to the typical act of setting and forgetting new year goals. Go beyond deciding what you want and dive deep into what will be required of you to have that. Decide, commit, schedule, and follow through.  That's the not-so-secret recipe to goal achievement. And if you want to dive deep into goal setting and management strategies, follow my Amazon Author profile at >>HERE<< and you'll be the first to know when Own Your Goals comes out next week.

What does it look like in your life to 'live your adventure'? Is that even something that you contemplate on a regular basis? It's so easy to get caught up in the routine of everyday life, to dismiss the idea of fun, play, and spontaneity in favor of safety, security, and certainty... And, yet, those two things are not mutually exclusive. One of the biggest life lessons I have had to learn is this: Living your adventure doesn't always feel like one. In other words, there are going to be seasons, weeks, months, and years when the work you're putting to live your highest purpose (i.e. your adventure) is monotonous at best and drudgery at worst... and it seems never ending... except that's the way to get to the adventure. Our Reality TV, immediate gratification culture has glorified the win while saying nothing about every ounce of repetition, boredom, and tenacity it took to get to it. And so... as 2021 is off to an awkward and chaotic start, it's imperative that we take some time to look at our lives and ask a few questions: What does living my adventure look like in a year? In 5 years? In 10 years? In 20 years? How will I know, at the end of my life, that I lived the adventure I came for? What is required of me today to live my adventure in 5 years? How much boredom, routine, and perseverance am I going to have to bring to the table in order to master the journey of living my best life? Most people will never embark upon asking and answering the above four questions. Do yourself a favor: Don't be like them...

"People may not tell you how they feel about you, but they always show you. Pay attention." We spend far too much time trying to 'figure' people out and not enough time believing what they show us. When someone treats you badly, they are showing you how they feel about you. There's no need to misinterpret actual behavior... and if you err on the side of thinking the best of people, think again. Your 'hope' that people don't mean what they mean is the exact reason you find yourself in situations where you're being taken for granted, not appreciated or treated poorly. And I'm not saying that someone else's bad behavior is your fault; it's not. But you allowing them to continue to show up and play a role in your life in that way is... So what do you do when you finally believe what people show you? How do you reset your boundaries and protect your heart when others make it very clear that they don't feel you're worthy of being treated well? You do three things: 1. Re-evaluate the relationship.  Do you really need to have this person in your life? Is this person actually contributing to your life in a MEANINGFUL way? Why are you holding on to someone who treats you like trash? 2. Re-set your boundaries with that person.  If you're dealing with someone who continually treats you badly, there's a boundary that you've allowed them to trample over. It's time to reset that boundary and have a serious boundary conversation with the person where you say "This is no longer acceptable" and then you back that up with action. 3. Re-define your understanding of forgiveness and compassion. Forgiving someone for bad behavior doesn't mean you give them the ability to continue to behave that way in your life. Feeling compassion for a person who's had a tough life doesn't mean you give them permission to take out their frustrations on you. You can forgive, have compassion and feel empathy for a person who treats you badly without allowing them to treat you badly. Separate what you forgive from what you allow and refuse to confuse the two ever again. At the end of the day, you teach people how to treat you... So the next time you feel like allowing bad behavior in your life, remember the words of Rudy Francisco: "Perhaps we should love ourselves so fiercely, that when others see us they know exactly how it should be done."

"You've got a new story to write. And it looks nothing like your past." - Danielle LaPorte Throughout our entire lives, we will start over MANY times. Change is constant... even if, as human beings, we hate to experience it. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go... and when life gives us an opportunity to start over, in many cases, we rail against the idea of having to begin again. Why? Because we don't know what's going to happen next. It's fear and fear can be an engine or a brake... How to Overcome the Fear of Starting Over You must learn to trust that there is a future waiting for you that is beyond what you might be able to grasp at this present moment. - Unknown In my book Begin Again: 32 Ways to Release the Fear of Starting Over, I talk about specific strategies you can use to overcome fear and begin again... and it all starts with understanding that fear is a normal, natural part of the human experience. The goal, then, is not to eradicate your fear but to transform it. When it comes to the fear of starting over, there are 3 things you can do turn your fear into fuel. Here they are: 1 Invite your fear over for dinner To transform a fear, you need to fully understand it. Invite your fear over dinner means sit with your fear. Ask it questions. Get to the root of your fear. When you think about starting over, what is the fear REALLY about? Are you afraid to fail? Are you afraid to succeed? Are you afraid that in succeeding, you'll lose time with your family? Are you afraid you'll be rejected? Are you afraid that you can achieve the success you want but you won't be able to keep it? Spend serious quiet time getting real with why you're really afraid. Until you know the source of your fear, there is no transforming it. #fear #faith #reflection #emotionalintelligence #leadyourlife 2 Get real with the fact that your life MUST change... whether by force or by choice... Sometimes, we need to be brave enough to outgrow the life we've built. - Unknown So often, we think we can avert having to start over by ignoring the fact that we need to. Think again... You might delay the starting over process. You might rationalize away your need to proactively manage beginning again but, rest assured, if something in your life is meant to change, it will shift... with or without your approval. Running from problems does not solve them. Pretending that everything's okay when it's not will not change the fact that what's going wrong is going to continue to go downhill and very well may require that you go in a completely different direction that you want to right now. It's time to get real with the fact that your life MUST change and you can either embrace the change by choice... or experience the dramatic shifting of the change by force. One way or another, at different points in your life, you're going to have to start over. As a quote so clearly puts it "Let go or be dragged." 3 Take the action afraid Starting over is scary. It feels scary to move in a direction you've never been in... which is why you can't wait until the fear goes away. There comes a point when you have to decide and act. Yes, you'll feel fear. Yes, you won't be 100% sure that things will work out. Yes, even in taking action and going well, the fear will still be there. The main reason to take action afraid is simple: the more you do it, the more powerfully you're able to transform your fear into fuel. In time, you practice this enough and you learn that, while fear might be in the car, it never has to be in the driver's seat. At the end of the day, at some point of your life, you're going to have to start over... and, every time, there will be fear. But you are bigger than your fear and you have the capacity to take action afraid. Never miss an opportunity to become who you are meant to be. Feel the fear and do it anyway...

Vibes don't lie. Learn how to believe your vibes the FIRST time they tell you something... Your vibes are meant to give you important information that's meant to guide your life. They signal to you when something's not right, when something is divinely timed, and when people and situations are not meant for you. The problem? Most of the time, we refuse to listen to our intuition. We don't heed the information our vibes give us... and we pay the price for not getting the message. Vibes are Truth-Tellers... Believe what your vibes tell you. Don't deny the signs, vibes, and energy you feel about certain people and certain situations. If it's not right, it's not right... - Unknown Time won't change the message your vibes want to send you. You're not going to massage the information or 'give it some time' and expect a totally different result. When something feels off, it is... and it's time you started to listen to your vibes the FIRST time they tell you something. How do you do that? 1. Pay attention to the message and not your feelings about the message.  What are your vibes telling you you need to do in this situation? Avoid that person? Change jobs? Leave that relationship? Focus on yourself? Don't interact with certain people? Forget about how you feel and remember what you deserve. Get clear on the message and the resulting action that needs to happen. 2. Let go of any ego about having made a mistake.  Very often, when we don't heed our vibes, it's because we feel stupid for not listening earlier. We feel foolish for not paying attention to the signs when they were right in our face. To hide from the resulting shame and guilt, we pretend like we don't have to correct our mistake. In some cases, we stay the course on a decision so we don't have to publicly show that we totally screwed this up. Don't do that. Your ego can take a lot of hits. Your life cannot continue to be based on a lie. Release the need to be right, to look perfect, or to not fail publicly. Better to fail in public than to fail permanently in your life in private. Face up to your mistakes... 3. Use this situation to show up differently to EVERY other situation.  The problem with listening to your vibes once is this: if you don't change who you are and how you show up to life, you may avert a bad situation by listening to your vibes this time but you'll show up to life in the same way you did to attract that situation and will get yet another opportunity to have your vibes tell you "Not this, not now..." You can avoid a lot of the need for your vibes to warn you by working on yourself, by showing up for life in a powerful way, by getting clear on your standards, boundaries and what you will and will not accept from life, and then showing up that way consistently for a long, long time. If you want a different life, you have to show up as a different version of you. Use your vibes to show up for yourself and be the best version of you... At the end of the day, here's what's true: Vibes speak louder than words. Listen...

Busy is an easy way to hide from life and to run from problems. Learn how to stop using 'busy' to escape what must be faced... I can't tell you the number of times I say to people, "I'm so busy." Truth be told- my schedule is always jam packed. All my friends know that phone calls from me are few and far between. When I'm not exercising, writing, or creating online courses, I'm enjoying the beautiful Wyoming outdoors or getting ready for bed. My life is full and I rarely have a moment where there's nothing to do... and I've created a life that's hectic and busy, partially because I like life that way and, truth be told, partially because there are things I'd rather not have to sit with... and then one day, I came across the Brene Brown quote below and it stopped me in my tracks... We are a culture of people who've bought into the idea that if we stay busy enough, the truth of our lives won't catch up with us. - Brene Brown I had to sit with Brene's truth for a number of days. It struck a chord in me because, for me, it was true. So long as I was busy with a jam packed schedule, I didn't have to deal with my health, my sadness, my sense of loss, my yearning for more, or my feelings of anger, disappointment and hurt. I didn't have to face any of that stuff and, naively, I assumed as long as it stayed under the surface, I could continue moving through life and all would be well. But you can't heal what you're unwilling to face... I've been struggling with getting my nutrition in check. I've been completely unwilling to give up the things I KNOW I need to give up if I want to get pregnant with Baby #4. I've had no desire to give up caffeine, gluten, dairy or wheat... NONE... when, ten or so years ago, I was able to give all of that up for OVER A YEAR and then got pregnant with my second child pretty easily. And while I spent so much time mentally beating myself up over it, here's what the truth was: I didn't want to give up my bad nutrition because it would force me to NOT be busy. It would force me to sit with myself. It would force me to slow down... and then what would happen if I slowed down? Oh... I'd actually have to face myself. All the grief, all the loss, all the pain, all the hurt, all the anger, all the disappointment. I'd actually have to face those emotions and FEEL them... and, in the face of that, I didn't even approach the goal of changing my health habits so I could transform my fertility... and I'm still battling that... and what does it boil down to? Busy is my way of not slowing down enough to face what hurts. Can you relate? And here's the truth of all of that: Busy won't fix what I'm running from. So how am I going to deal with using busy as a scapegoat? I'm going to follow the advice of Eleanor Roosevelt and MAKE myself face what I'm unwilling to face. I'm going to be willing to slow down, be willing to take a break from 'busy' and be willing to trust the process of life and my ability to handle whatever emotions come my way... and then I'm going to take this slowing down (and releasing 'busy') one day at a time. If I go too far too fast, I'll get overwhelmed, I'll freak out and I'll run back to safety. No, the only way I'm going to stop using 'busy' as an excuse is to take things one hour at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time. That may not be the answer you want to read but it's the best answer I'm going to implement. It's time for us to question why we're so 'busy' and make sure that our form of busy is a way of getting things done and not a method of avoiding real life... #busy #overwhelm #stress