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  • Writer's pictureKassandra Vaughn

Who You Marry Matters

In Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill outlines the 30 major causes of failure. Here's #15:

15. WRONG SELECTION OF A MATE IN MARRIAGE. This is a most common cause of failure. The relationship of marriage brings people intimately into contact. Unless this relationship is harmonious, failure is likely to follow. Moreover, it will be a form of failure that is marked by misery and unhappiness, destroying all signs of AMBITION.

At first glance, this language seems EXTREMELY harsh. Here's the reality: it's true. Research shows that couples who continually argue over important issues are more likely to experience inflammation and weakened heart or immune function. But it's more than negative health effects. When you're living with a person who you don't want to be around, someone who brings negative energy into your living space, a person who either puts you down or doesn't support you in your life, you are sleeping with an enemy... Sit with that for a second. You're literally living with an enemy which makes your home environment a battlefield... which leads to you being emotionally, physically and spiritually in a state of suffering ALL OF THE TIME.

How's that ever going to produce a successful life? It won't...

Set high standards that operate in and outside of your marriage

Whether you're doing this for the first time after ten years of marriage or you're about to get married and need to set up clear boundaries, it's important that you set high standards for how you will and won't be treated in your marriage. Have a clear, thorough conversation of what that looks like and means in your marriage. If the other person gets offended or disagrees with how you want to be treated, be clear about what you will and won't accept. Either the person will comply and have a happy life... or not comply and tank the relationship. At the end of the day, your marriage will either help you rise and hold you back. Nothing about who you're married to is neutral. Make the right decision for you... #marriage #partnership #goodmarriage #badmarriage #divorce #relationships

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